I am not really sure what is going on.

I’m 35 years old with so much life still ahead of me, but really feeling like I already have accomplished what I wanted to.

I started with absolutely nothing - from the bottom of the fringes that I could find to be in a life where, now, I have everything I could want. From homeless to a beautiful home that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Everything except a wife and family of my own but even that, I know that will be there when I am ready to.

I really just feel like I understand it all. Maybe that’s true or maybe that’s ignorance - I don’t know yet. But I do know that that is not necessarily a good thing. Once you know so much, you now need to discipline and refine yourself down to actually make the most out of that knowledge. Use it. Or it just spins around your mind like blender, allowing some to get out but some to stay clumped on the edges, with all of its nutrients going to waste.

Maybe I just waste some of this potential because it is truly so wild to me. Why, the more I am myself and do what I want, the more things seem to fall into place. The better the relationships get. The world bends in my favor, every single day.

And I don’t know why. I’m really not sure why I deserve it.

People get out of my way and they listen to what I have to say when I really want to. In fact, they listen to it so much that they use that information to better themselves because of it. Which changes all of the people around them.

So how about for that?

Use what you have to help the world get what they deserve. Enjoy the ride. Take time for yourself. But be kind to you, and to the world, along the way. Remember grandma saying when you were very young ‘Let the world in on what you have to say’.

And I know that. I know that I have something that will make the world a more beautiful place. Even if it’s burning down with pitchforks getting thrown, you don’t see that.

You really don’t.

The universe has given you everything to use your gift to illuminate the world and enjoy the ride.

If nothing else, you have the money to take your dad out to lunch and spend real time with him, which has to be paradise on earth to me.