In complete chaos, with on direction, heartbroken and shattered - I started to run. I was a wounded animal and I didn’t know how to talk to anyone about what I was going through. I was terrified.

That’s why I didn’t want a phone and still resist them. I don’t want anyone to be able to find me because my trust in humanity at that time was shattered. I was shot with an arrow in the heart but it didn’t kill me. And these last 10 years have been me running into the woods with a blood trail always behind me.

I ran for so long on my own. As long as I could. But then, I ran out of money so I needed help. It was the hardest thing I had ever done at that time but I asked… And help was always given to me. I was shown that the world might not be so dangerous - But I still wasn’t sure.

That is why my entire life has been about showing the beauty of the world. Because I was really doing it for me. To me.

To show myself that the world is okay.

But then, I lost my best friend to an overdose. And I had allowed myself to trust a relationship again… But it fell apart. I was too scared to let it flourish. I didn’t know how to tell the truth. One part of me was too scared to let her in close enough to hurt me but, once she was, I was too scared to be alone again.

We fell apart. So I ran again.

Along these many years of running, I became an observer to the world. I still didn’t want a phone so I couldn’t be found so I had endless time to explore and just watch the world. I was just trying to make a better decision on if I should trust the world. I was waiting tables at restaurants, working on farms, anything to scrap together a few more dollars to allow myself to keep running.