Unfortunately, in my auto pilot, it can often be lost on me what an incredible life I have and have had.

By the gift of God, I went out into the wild so many years ago… With no plans, no money, no job, no direction, no anything except to truly see and experience as much of life as I possibly could. I slept on the side of the road in National Parks, slept in a $20 tent I got from Wal-Mart that had holes in it, slept in my car and then on beaches. When I couldn’t find a place to sleep at night, I would go into caves on the beaches and take naps in the afternoons (Still remember a little boy peeking his head through the roof of one when I was sleeping and saying ‘Hi!’

I remember finally asking a Mexican family if I could have a tiny bit of their sunscreen because I could never afford it. They graciously said of course!

Laying naked on the beach on the PCH. The guy coming by and telling me that they would tow my car if it was left in the parking lot overnight.

I was, and still am, completely free in every possible way.

I have a life that most people could only dream of. That people think you need millions of dollars to have or experience even half of what I have.

And I haven’t just ‘seen’ things. I’ve touched them. I’ve climbed them. I’ve swam in the currents, the lakes, the oceans, the streams. I’ve tasted the homemade food of locals. I’ve seen and been seen by so many of them. I’ve felt my toes in the sand and on the rocks. I’ve felt the sun on my face.

Somehow, this created an entire life, one that I am so blessed to have today. It allowed me to photograph the world in a different way. Because I was seeing it in a different way than others. To photograph people in a way that only I could see. Through the years of being ‘out there’, I learned how to interact with so many different types of strangers all over the world. I got close to them because there was times when I needed them. They were always so good to me. I always had their trust because they could feel how vulnerable I was. Just a kid, lost out in the wild, exploring his own soul as he did so. Trying to make sure I make it back home to mom so I don’t worry her.

And even now, as I suffer so much emotionally, it’s an incredible blessing to be able to be out here to re-discover myself. I am not just sad, stuck in a job and routine I hate, in a place I don’t like living. I am not just consumed by memories in my town. Instead, I am always given the keys to go and be free. I have the money. The time. The trust. To do nothing except find a new and different place to work through another memory, another thought. To shed another tear. To try and think objectively.

To spend intimate time with God himself, everywhere I go. To stop and ponder, to dream, to cry anywhere that feels right. To call family or a friend anytime I need to. My friends are watching my home and loving on my kitties.

To be allowed to untether to hear the inside of my soul again. To feel so very fragile next to the tumultuous ocean waves.