How could I ever go back to a life where I am seen? Out here, I am only a ghost and no one can see me enough to steal my attention or energy.

There’s an energetic rollercoaster that takes place out here. One that has been the birthplace of so much of my creativity and writing.

I feel like I am always becoming out here.

Always in the fire.

Always being forged.

Always being humbled and deconstructed.

Each and every day, I get to find another part of my soul to see what I can create with.

At home, in comfort, there is no fire to forge me. I’m taking out of the fire and given central heating. The dirt is cleaned off of me for far too long. Long enough to forget who I really am behind the veil. The veil I put on so people can feel comfortable around me and relate.

Because I already know who I am in comfort, I don’t need to be curious and my creative soul can fall asleep.

When it’s asleep, it’s easy for me to get depressed for no reason at all.

But the reason reason I am depressed there is because I’m not searching. Because I don’t need to.

And I really, really don’t like thinking I already know who I am.

Today, I go back into the special void I love so much. The one that brings me to my knees, yet always reminds me to stand back tall again and look at myself even closer in the mirror.

In the changing wild of the tumultuous ocean, I stand in the middle of all the storm with my eyes wide open. My heart beat slows down and my hands open to accept all that comes. For the roots that will grow from the lessons I learn remind my soul that I AM strong enough.

We all are.

We’ve always been.