Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Notes at the end of life, of a great professor and human:

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“The culture we have today doesn’t make people feel very good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough that, if the culture doesn’t work for you, don’t buy it.”

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“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even they they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

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“He tells me to be ‘fully human’ He speaks of the alienation of youth and the need for ‘connectedness’ with the society around me.”

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“Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.”

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“Mitch, the culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - We’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and saying ‘Is this all?’ ‘Is this all I want?’ ‘Is something missing?’ - You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won’t just happen automatically.’

Psychology.

Do not pursue what is quick. Do not pursue what is expedient. Do not pursue short term pleasures.

It will take away your gratification. It will take away your joy. I promise.

Take one tiny step forward each and every day.

Sometimes, you're in the darkness and you don't ever think you'll find the way out.

But, if you just keep putting one foot forward, each and every day... The light you're looking for might be just around the corner. And you could have never imagined the wonderful life that awaits you there.

But only you can take that step forward.

I need you to be secure, and be confident. For there are few things sadder, that I have seen, than people who were emotionally or physically abused.

This might be a little uncomfortable but it must be said.

I have had the fortune of being able to meet people everywhere, all over the world, and hear gorgeous stories of deep emotion. People open up to me and tell me their heart.

There is one constant that breaks my heart more than anything. And it is the extremely high rate of times when I meet people (as adults) who were abused earlier in life. Some of them physically - most of them emotionally - but make no mistake, they are both every bit as destructive.

If you abuse people, physically or emotionally, you are destroying the good in this world. You are destroying people’s beliefs in humanity and the love around them. You are destroying what is actual and forcing a belief in the victim that the world is a bad place and people do not have their best intentions in mind.

Maybe you did this when you were young. Maybe you did this in a relationship. Maybe you did this at a certain point of weakness. We all make mistakes - I am far from perfect and have surely said things I wish I could have taken back when the emotion subsided.

But do not let that pride keep you from apologizing.

Do not let that pride hold you back from telling that person that you were wrong.

Please do not let that pride keep you from telling that person that it wasn’t about them, for why you hurt them.

They might still hold it against you. They might not forgive you. But, through that apology, they just might start to slowly forgive themselves. To see that it wasn’t their fault. And to slowly start giving themselves a chance at happiness or joy again. As slowly starting to trust people again.

If you abuse, make no mistake: You are destroying that person for life, in a way that is rarely overcome. That destruction leads to many people hurting themselves. Treating themselves poorly. And believing that that is what they deserve. That destroys the very fabric of our society. The heartbeat of a population with a desire to love others, and trust freely. When people lose that, they do terrible things to themselves and others, perpetually. It effects the relationships they get into. It effects how they raise their children. I can’t tell you how many times I have met a mom who told me she was abused and then meeting the daughter and seeing the daughter following the exact same footsteps. You are destroying people’s ability to even see whats normal.

So, if you’re reading this, again, it’s okay to be insecure. But please take the time individually, to fight your own demons on your own, before ever taking them out on anyone else. It’s okay to be insecure, but it’s not okay to let that insecurity create fear and abuse in the people around you. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to anyone.

And it destroys the world, one person at a time.

A healthy heart is a heart full of love, always.

Why not make life easier and learn?

We are at the most fortunate time we have ever been in, in understanding the complexities of life. We are in the information age, where we have limitless information available to us, almost all of it which is free. Yet, we overload it with junk. With things that don’t serve us or help us in any way. They just clutter and fill our brain with chaos, which makes the thoughts that are actually important more convoluted and cloudy.

Learn from the great psychologists and sociologists. Learn from the people that have dedicated their lives to literally understanding HOW the brain works, How our bodies work. Read it all the time. Understand as well as possible. Discard the things that you don’t need to remember and learn more deeply the things that are universally important to your life.

These things are essential. We are not different - We are all pretty much the same. Remember this.

Fill your brain with information that helps you as much as humanely possible. Read books. Watch TED talks. Watch lectures. Have conversations with people and listen more than you talk.

Make no mistake - Knowledge truly is power. And will single handedly be your greatest attribute to living a fulfilled life. Knowledge will help you differentiate emotional reactions to situations (and emotions rarely involve raw logic) and remember the big picture.

Today, I was reading ‘12 Rules For Life’ and found this extremely fascinating:

The ancient part of your brain specialized for assessing dominance watches how you are treated by other people. On that evidence, it renders a determination of your value and assigns you a status. If you are judged by your peers as of little worth, the counter restricts serotonin availability. That makes you much more physically and psychologically reactive to any circumstance or event that might produce emotion, particularly if it is negative. Emergencies are common at the bottom, and you must be ready to survive.

When operating at the bottom, the ancient brain counter assumes that even the smallest unexpected impediment might produce and uncontrollable chain of negative events, which will have to be handled alone, as useful friends are rare indeed. You will therefore continually sacrifice what you could otherwise physically store for the future, using it up on heightened readiness and the possibility of immediate panicked action in the present.

The ancient counter will eventually even shut down your immune system, expending your energy and resources required for future health now, during the crises of the present. It will render you impulsive, so that you will jump, for example at any short-term mating opportunities, or any possibilities of pleasure, no matter how sub-par, disgraceful or illegal.

If you have a high status, on the other hand, the counter’s cold, pre-reptilian mechanics assume that your niche is secure, productive and safe, and that you are well buttressed with social support. It think the chance that something will damage you is low and can be safely discounted. The serotonin flows plentifully. Change might be opportunity, instead of disaster. This renders you confident and calm, standing tall and straight, and much less on constant alert. Because your position is secure, the future is likely to be good for you. You can delay gratification, without forgoing it forever.

You are your own greatest enemy.

A cluttered mind, stacked to the roofs with thoughts of the past, present and future, will always become your greatest enemy. It will keep you from going outside. It will keep you from trying.

That’s why nature is essential. Leave your phone at home and go outside, to clear your mind and find logic within your thoughts.

Discard the ones that don’t serve you, or fill you with fear. (This will take a lot of time so be patient with yourself). And find confidence in the clarity, and allow that you lead you in the right direction.

If you pursue art, please do it with great courage.

There’s not many things sadder than seeing an artist that is trying everything they can to fit in. We don’t need that. We need you to be different. We need you to be unique.

We need you to inspire us and to help us see reality with a new perspective.

How to be happy:

How i’ve found it:

• 1. Do everything possible to take care of your mental and physical health.

  • Sleep well. Eat healthy. Really healthy. Work out. Be active. Do things that are challenging to you every single day. Read books. Educate yourself. Scare yourself. Grow from that. Work out more. Climb mountains. Hike long trails.

• Take away ALL instant-gratification out of your life. All of it. Call people more than you text. Delete social media off of your phone. Leave your phone at home when you go on walks or out to eat with friends. Do not ever, ever take your phone into the bathroom or the bedroom. You need that time to think.

  • The literature on this is crystal clear: People that have less stimulus in their lives tend to use the significant majority of their attention to think about the future (28%+). The next bigger chunk of that attention goes to the present. The smallest percentage of that attention is given to the past. Just think about how crucial this is.

• Be honest, at all times. Make no mistake about this - people will hate you at times for being honest. Be honest anyways. Rather to be hated for telling the truth than deemed as not being trustworthy. If you are deemed as not trustworthy, it can take you years (or never) to ever get another chance. Say what you mean and DO what you say. I don’t care if you haven’t slept in a week and are hungover - If you said you will be somewhere or do something, do it. People need to know that they can trust you. And when they can, they will open up to your forever. There is nothing more damaging to human conversation these days than passive aggression. If you are passive-aggressive, people that are paying attention will not trust your words candidly but rather realize they need to mind-read or decode what you are actually saying. This takes away from progressive conversation.

• Allow yourself to be close to people. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic. To be human. To be emotional. To be messy. To say what you mean and do what you say.

• You must find all of these things within yourself - for no one will ever be able to give them to you, if you don’t work hard to find it individually.

• Pay attention to the world around you. Help others every single time you notice it. Say hello and look people in the eyes when talking to them. Call them by their name if possible. People will not forget these small gestures of kindness and they will remember you even years later, on the simplest of interactions. THAT is how rare it is. And THAT is how much it is needed today.

• Live a life that allows your creativity and imagination to exist, and grow at that. Working 12 hours a day? Work on a creative pursuit that serves as an outlet for you in the one hour you have before going to bed. Do this instead of looking at a computer or a phone. And remember - nothing will be scarier than putting your art out there. Because when you do, you allow it to be torn apart. But if you do, you’ll end up noticing that 80-90% of people support you with tremendous vigor just because you’re putting yourself out there. the 10-20% that don’t like your art are just as wonderful, for they keep you humble and working hard.

• If you’re young, don’t own a TV. There just simply isn’t enough time in the day, if you’re really trying to pursue the things that are most meaningful to you. TV can absorb hours and hours of your thoughts daily and take away from the focus you fundamentally MUST have to make sure you are leading your life in the direction you would like it to be. If you must have a TV, only use it for movies - things that allow your attention span to be long, not short. Read more books than watch TV though, please.

• Be an individual. Say what you mean. Listen more than you talk. When you think and are truly unique, you will risk offending people. That is okay. As long as what you said was honest and true, and not given with the agenda of hurting someone - you simply can’t try to structure your speech in a way that is always safe. When you stand up for what you believe in, or what matters most to you, you will ALWAYS have people that disagree. That is okay. Let them. It’s not their journey.

• Lastly, do not ever make the goal about more money. That has never been the goal and never should be the goal. Make your goal to do things that you are passionate about, that make you feel alive, and that foster your own happiness. Make the goal to feel fulfilled. Money will come as a bi-product of those things, always, but that way, you will treat money as a tool to helping you live your best life… Not a tool to making you happy. If you are searching for money to make you happy, I can promise you one thing: You will never find enough to do so.

No matter what you believe happens after you die… Make no mistake, this is the only opportunity at this life you will ever get. Remind yourself of that every single day and live a life dedicated to knowing that.

Today is the youngest you will ever be again.

Love you all.

Adam

Mood.

Intensely ambitious, with minimal fear of rejection, and a desire to stay out of my comfort zone.

The danger of insecurity.

Insecurity is horribly dangerous to society. It’s too messy. We hurt people when we are insecure and do whatever it takes to feel strength, many times when it is not earned. When he hurt people, we hurt their perception of the world around them. Be VERY careful around people who are insecure, yet act like they are not, or are not doing anything to help themselves grow. These people will almost always be negative, cynical and defensive. And a defensive person who is acting out of emotion will act like a caged animal many times, and do whatever it takes to protect themselves. These people can be very, very dangerous.

When people are confident, they do things with intention. With logic and not just raw emotion. They make decisions on the actual facts, not full of chaotic emotion. If you’re paying attention, you will always be able to tell the difference between confidence and ego. Foster confidence in people and let it bloom.

Make no mistake - The world is in desperate need of confident leaders these days.

How difficulty in life creates who you become:

Failure taught me how to be successful.

Heartbreak taught me how to love deeply.

Rejection taught me humility.

One thing I have learned through this whole process, over and over again:

If you’re chasing your dreams, please know and always remember this -

You will never find anyone who believes in you as much as you need to believe in yourself. People will let you down. People will disappoint you. People are selfish in nature. People will ask what is in it for them. People will help if money or business is involved.

That’s okay - You can’t fault people for living their own individual journeys.

But you can use that information to know who to let be closest to you in life. And if you find people that believe in your dreams as much as you do, hold those people close forever.

For they are selfless and truly love you.

Getting the book - and why that allowed me to breathe for the first time, in a long time.

The other day, I got the finished book in the mail. It wasn’t exactly how I wanted it to be, for my expectations were through the roof and it would have been impossible for even the greatest publishers on the planet to create that. '

It was a very good learning experience and a constant reminder that expectation is the root of all suffering.

I felt the entire gamut of emotion that day… After having spent the last 6 months riding a rollercoaster of anticipation, self-doubt, imposter-syndrome, confidence, humility, joy and everything else in between.

But I couldn’t shake the fact that I just felt so at peace.

My emotions were all equalized (more than they had in the last 6 months) the moment I just held the book in my hands. There was nothing more to do. No more details to fret over. No more emails to go back and forth over. No more calls from the printers, the publishers, managers… Nothing.

It was just me, in my home, holding my own book. My own book. Those words alone are enough to give me complete peace and presence in that one moment right there.

What’s done was done. And now it was time to allow myself peace and to remember all the lessons I had learned in life along the way. It’s so easy to place all of the significance of this project on the final book, since that was a synopsis of the entire project.

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But, when I took a step back, I instantly remembered the big picture - and why I was so at peace:

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This project taught me everything I needed to learn in life. It taught me independence. It taught me how to interact with people.

IT TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE MYSELF. 100% of the time.

It taught me how to be vulnerable. How to be authentic. It introduced me to friends I would have never met. It allowed me to be close enough to them that they will likely be friends for life.

It helped me understand how to approach almost anyone, and stay true to myself while doing so. That allowed me to meet relationships I never would have. And even more, to be close to them and allow them to be close to me. To restore faith in the goodness of people, regardless of race and gender, and remind girls that there are guys out there that just want to talk to them, and don’t expect anything in return.

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This project has made a difference in peoples lives. It made thousands and thousands of people smile. It has given me countless moments to give an ear to people that need it so bad, and help them find some clarity in the problems they’re going through. It reminded many, many people that there is goodness in humanity. That they can open up to someone they just met. That they can trust a stranger to tell something private, and that it will never be used against them.

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This project taught me how to talk. How to communicate. How to be. Nothing more, nothing less. This project opened up literally the entire world to me. And through all these lessons, this project brought more people into my life (and continues to do so) that I don’t even know what to do with it. 

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This project has taught me how to combine art with business. How to convey passion to businessmen. How to help other artists chase their dreams, and give them a little oomf to do so with. 

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This project taught me that life is for the asking. That I can have almost anything I want, if I ask for it, and search everywhere for the answers on how to find it. 

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This project reminded me that people are really people. Transformative moments like the one with Man-Lai, in the NYC projects, with old/young… It showed me that everyone is relatively the same, and looking for relatively the same things.

Needing relatively the same things.

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This project changed me in 100 ways that I never expected when I first started. And taught me lessons that will forever make my life easier, better, more genuine, more impactful, more immersive than I could have ever expected. More than I could have found in 1,000 books. 

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Everything I learned on this project can never be taken away from me. And it will forever make my life easier, closer, more fulfilling and make me feel more alive than ever.

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This project brought you into my life - and reading my writing. And in that alone, I feel grateful. So thank you truly for just being here.

Love,

Adam

Life becomes what you ask for. Every single time.

Every single dream coming true in my life right now is happening because I interacted with the world around me. I was vulnerable. I talked to strangers. I asked for help when I needed it. I accepted help when people offered it.

Everyone helped.

I am living proof of someone who has never known what they were doing, but tried my best to keep life light and kept looking for the answers, all around the world. I didn't go to school for photography, or any art for that matter. I didn't own a real camera until just a few years ago (that I paid for with money I saved waiting tables at restaurants). And I spent most of my life keeping people at a distance, and not truly letting them be as close to me.

When I needed it most, I put myself out there. I started listening more than I talked. And trying to learn from each person I came into contact with.

I want this all to just be a reminder that the world is there to help you, not to hurt you. This is not a cliche, or something I am saying to be overly optimistic. This is coming from facing fear head on, and looking for reasons to prove if it was rational or not. This is coming from a huge sample size of people, in just about every kind of situation. I gave people the opportunity to prove me wrong and take advantage of me, rob me, hurt me, and prove that being fearful of strangers around you is something you should adhere to.

But I ended up being taken care of by every single person I asked. Every person. In every country. Rich, poor, white, black (and many other different races), old, young... And everywhere in between.

Everyone helped.

This is not a brag.

This is to hopefully implore and inspire you to start chasing that dream you've always had. This is to show you that I am no different than you. I didn't get luckier or come from a bunch of money. I started this project when I was waiting tables and living paycheck to paycheck.

Life ended up becoming what I asked for and, every bit as importantly, what I worked hard for. But I couldn't have done any of it, without the strangers I met along the way.

Just about everything is possible if you persist. I promise. I'm living proof of it.

Graveyards.

When you are really in a moment of self-doubt or lull in creativity… Go to a graveyard and walk through it.

And remember that those are all people who had one life to live. To give their 100%. And now they have passed, all of their mistakes, worries, concerns, fears, judgements, etc. have all been forgotten about.

They are only remembered now by the legacy they created during their one opportunity of life.

Use this to remind yourself how short life can be, and how important it is to use today to its fullest potential, every single day you have the opportunity to.

Rejection.

During the times of my life when I am chasing my dreams the most… 95% of that time is rejection.

But that 5% has ended up changing my life.

What we're all really looking for:

All that all of us are doing here is trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense. Just trying to find a light in the fear.

And in that, we have tremendous responsibility. For we are there to bring others out of their fears and show them the light. And remind them how they got lost.

And some of these people give you looks like they have been lost in the wild for a lifetime. Lost to the point they had given up on being found or saved.

And you are the first one that found them in the woods that didn’t want anything at all to help get them home. To be their beacon and give them your flashlight because you already know.

And now I walk through a world that feels it’s asleep, or hiding from anyone or anything that could hurt it. Because they have been lied to or manipulated or taken advantage of to the point that they don’t feel okay with just being who they are. So people distract themselves as a way to fit in with modern society and do what everyone else is doing, because that’s the only thing that does make sense in a world that makes no sense.

When, in the core, we are all just looking for someone we can open up to and trust to say our deepest thoughts - and that they will not be used against us - but rather be used to have deeper conversations, closer to our heart.

Trying to find happiness in popularity.

I think that, when you are trying to be famous, you are constantly looking for external validation as needs for happiness. But external validation is too subjective and biased, and rarely even has anything to do with you, so you end up basing happiness on a lottery.

And that’s just not conducive to joy. 

Living a Balanced Life

If you do not have a healthy balance with nature in your life, then your mind is cluttered. It will be no matter what. Nature is the way you not only cleanse your mind but also allow your thoughts to finish. So often, we start 10 new thoughts while were still in the middle of another one. And many times, we never finish a thought, allowing us to move on from it and not commit and further mental space to it. If we let too many of these thoughts enter our mind without finishing, we become overwhelmed, anxious and restless. 

I just finished 'Miracle in the Andes' and it taught me a lot about life.

There is so much wisdom in this book. These are lessons that can only be taught through life and death situations that reveal perspective, exactly how it is.

Some of the most powerful quotes:

“When I was certain all of you were dead, I knew I would never recover from the loss. It was as if my house had burned to the ground, and I had lost everything I owned, forever. And now, to have you back, it’s as if I have stumbled on something precious in the ashes. I feel I am reborn. From now on, I will try not to feel sorry for what was taken from me, but to be happy for what was given back.” (From one of the fathers of the survivors)

“Did I have the strength to trade the glamorous life I was living for long days toiling at my fathers hardware store? In the end, there really was no question. The lessons I’d learned on the mountain prevented me from doing anything but choosing correctly; I would make my future with the woman I loved.”

“In the mountains, there was never a minute that I did not feel death at my side, but the moment I stood on the summit of the mountain and saw nothing but towering peaks as far as the eye could see, was the moment all my doubts were swept away and the certainty of my own death became viscerally real. The realness of death stole my breath away, but at the time same time I burned more brightly with life than I ever had before, and in the face of total hopelessness, I felt a burst of joy. The realness of death was so clear and so potent that for a moment it burned away everything temporary and false. Death had shown its face, dark, predatory, invincible, and for a split second, it seemed that beneath the fragile illusions of life, death was all there is. But then I saw that there was something in the world that was not death, something just as awesome and enduring and profound. There was love, the love in my heart, and for one incredible moment, as I felt this love swell-love for my father, for my future, for the simple wonder of BEING ALIVE- death had LOST its power. In that moment, I stopped running from death. Instead, I made every step a step toward love, and that saved me. 

“I have never stopped moving toward love. Life has blessed me with material success. I like fast cars, good food, fine food. I love to travel. I believe life should be enjoyed, but my experienced have taught me that without the LOVE of my family and my friends, all the trappings of worldly success would ring hollow. I also know that I would be a happy man if all those trappings were taken from me, as long as I am close to the people I love.”