Every single dream coming true in my life right now is happening because I interacted with the world around me. I was vulnerable. I talked to strangers. I asked for help when I needed it. I accepted help when people offered it.
Everyone helped.
I am living proof of someone who has never known what they were doing, but tried my best to keep life light and kept looking for the answers, all around the world. I didn't go to school for photography, or any art for that matter. I didn't own a real camera until just a few years ago (that I paid for with money I saved waiting tables at restaurants). And I spent most of my life keeping people at a distance, and not truly letting them be as close to me.
When I needed it most, I put myself out there. I started listening more than I talked. And trying to learn from each person I came into contact with.
I want this all to just be a reminder that the world is there to help you, not to hurt you. This is not a cliche, or something I am saying to be overly optimistic. This is coming from facing fear head on, and looking for reasons to prove if it was rational or not. This is coming from a huge sample size of people, in just about every kind of situation. I gave people the opportunity to prove me wrong and take advantage of me, rob me, hurt me, and prove that being fearful of strangers around you is something you should adhere to.
But I ended up being taken care of by every single person I asked. Every person. In every country. Rich, poor, white, black (and many other different races), old, young... And everywhere in between.
Everyone helped.
This is not a brag.
This is to hopefully implore and inspire you to start chasing that dream you've always had. This is to show you that I am no different than you. I didn't get luckier or come from a bunch of money. I started this project when I was waiting tables and living paycheck to paycheck.
Life ended up becoming what I asked for and, every bit as importantly, what I worked hard for. But I couldn't have done any of it, without the strangers I met along the way.
Just about everything is possible if you persist. I promise. I'm living proof of it.
Two Steps.
Step one to being happy: Turn off the TV.
Step two: Go out and see how beautiful the world actually is.
Just For The Moment.
Life will eventually go back to normal. Your routines will rebound and you'll be busy again, I promise.
You might never have this opportunity again.
Use the time you have now to work on a passion you've always wanted to. To find something outside of work that gives you purpose and meaning. To find your heart. Try new hobbies. Learn a new language. Challenge yourself with new disciplines. Read a new book every week. Take longer hikes. Work on your dread list. Clean your house. Work on a new craft. Have deeper conversations with your spouse, your partners, your best friends. Plant a garden.
For as long as I can remember, I have heard the excuse 'I am too busy to X'. We don't have that excuse anymore.
You have nowhere else to be today, except where you are. So don't complain - Just dream bigger. Life will go back to normal but you may never have this opportunity of the time you have available today.
The skills you learn during this time could change the direction of your entire life for the better. And you could turn these events into something that was the best thing that ever happened to you, in hindsight.
I promise you that too.
The Only Way To Make It Through.
Wishing you well today.
Hoping this photograph can bring you to a place that will be there when this all blows over. A place that is given a time to heal without the foot traffic and pollution, that will be even more beautiful when we go back to it.
One day at a time.
Draw close to relationships. Write letters to the ones you love. Work through those difficult thoughts.
We'll all be better for going through these difficult moments.
Love you all.
Superpowers.
Okay, I have some pretty simple superpowers I have learned through the last few years of travels, that I would like to give away so more people do it.
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1. If you're looking for meaning in your life, you will always find it in giving your time and attention to others. Not only will it get you out of your head (and out of your problems) but it will help someone else with theres. Many times, you also realize through this experience how many people's sufferings are far worse than yours, and it helps put your issues in perspective.
Also, while you do what you can for others, you will see the gratitude that comes from doing the simplest things for them. The SIMPLEST things. You'll see how happy it makes them. And you'll also notice how good that makes you feel, to help others. So you'll do it more. And then you'll notice you're making a difference in their life... And that their problems are getting smaller... So you'll want to do it more and more.
By doing this, you make the world a much better place.
And make no mistake, this is where true happiness comes from. Happiness that can never be taken from you.
(Oh, and you'll also notice you weren't thinking of your own problems through the whole time you were helping them.)
2. Actually look at people and smile at them when you're walking past them. Why? Well, you'll notice that almost every time you smile at someone else, they smile back at you. Once you do this enough, you'll see almost everyone smiling when they see you and forget that you were actually the one smiling first.
This will rejuvenate your perspective on the world around you - And help you see the world in a much more positive light than you had been before. The world around you will look happier and you'll see much more of the good in people.
3. This seems like it's beating a dead horse but, to truly be happy, you have to live it.
Significant research has shown that, when you have enough money to pay your bills and basic necessities, (and with savings to not have to worry about them in the near future), then additional money does NOT add your happiness in any way.
REMEMBER THAT.
How many times does the story have to be told of a rich person committing suicide? How sad could life be, when you have given all of it to the pursuit of money, gotten it and realized it actually wasn't what you were looking for the whole time. You would have to start from scratch and many people that have given their lives to this simply can't do it.
DON'T DO THAT.
Find something in your life that is meaningful and pursue it. Suffer through the difficult moments and develop strength through it. This will give you resilience to weather the very sure tragedies that life can bring and make you a stronger person to be there for the people around you when they need it. By pursuing something that is meaningful to you also, you will experience joy in the smallest successes that that pursuit brings and that will help inspire the people around you and make a difference in their lives.
This is another very sure way to change the world for the better.
If you're fortunate with a lot of money, take care of the things you need to and give yourself a good life. I have no issue with money - None. But don't think for a second that stockpiling money will make you a happier person, much less a better person. Instead, think of that money as a tool - And nothing else. A tool that you can use to make the world a better place. To impact others. And to lessen the suffering of those you come into contact with.
All of this will give you perspective. Heart. Empathy.
This will always inspire others to do the same and helps them understand how to do it.
And, at the end of it all, I think it would be impossible to look back at a life where you pursued meaning, and making the world a better place, with any regrets at all.
One Of The Most Important Quotes I know.
I am going to post this quote routinely as a reminder to myself and others who forego the simpler path and dare to chase their dreams. Those that choose to let go of comfort and consistency... Believing against all odds that you truly can make a difference in this world. I post this as a reminder that it will never be an easy path but I promise you, with all sincerity, that it's one worth giving your life to.
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“We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are. More than our parents/children/teachers think we are.
We fear that we actually possess the talent that our still, small voice tells us. That we actually have the guts, the perseverance, the capacity. We fear that we truly can steer our ship, plant our flag, reach our Promised Land.
We fear this because, if it’s true, then we become estranged from all we know. We pass through a membrane. We become monsters and monstrous.
We know that if we embrace our ideals, we must prove worthy of them. And that scares the hell out of us. What will become of us? We will lose our friends and family, who will no longer recognize us. We will wind up alone, in the cold void of starry space, with nothing and no one to hold on to.
Of course this is exactly what happens. But here’s the trick.
We wind up in space, but not alone. Instead we are tapped into an unquenchable, undepletable, inexhaustible source of wisdom, consciousness, companionship.
Yeah, we lose friends. But we find friends too, in places we never thought to look. And they’re better friends, truer friends. And we’re better and truer to them.
Do you believe me?”
The War of Art
Steven Pressfield
Learning From The Downs.
Life is incredible, if you allow yourself to learn from the downs.
They're inevitable.
Dreams are on the other side, I promise, and they will actually feel like dreams because of what you had to do to get there. Because of how you had to forge yourself to get through to the other side.
And I'll tell you something even more interesting - You don't want those dreams to come true until you have to earn them. Because if you have to fight for them, they will actually strangely feel like you might deserve them. Which is important because let me tell you, imposter syndrome is a very real thing.
By fighting for them, you will forge your perspective to find the silver lining in even the dimmest circumstances... Which is essential to making it through a crazy world these days.
You will be okay with rejection because you know what you have inside of you. You will have love for yourself that no one can ever take from you.
When you can improve your perspective, anything is possible.
Why I try to inspire others to leave their phones at home more often.
When people ask me why I am so against phones, my reason is this:
The greatest tragedy to happen since the invention of phones, social media and overall, just too much technology is what it did to personal communication.
And I really mean that word - Tragedy.
Relationships are marginalized because of a lack of communication. People struggle more than ever with being human - With being vulnerable - With just saying what they truly mean.
Friendships fall apart because of a lack of communication. There is absolutely no replacement for the depth that comes from spending time with friends or family in person - And truly having conversations of substance. With really listening to one another.
But, because people are constantly stimulated, their brains rarely have the time to figure out how to articulate what they mean to. What they need to. So what ends up happening is lots of passive aggression.
And make no mistake - There are very few things more dangerous to relationships than passive aggression.
You're trying to tell someone something that's actually important to you - But you wait and wait and wait until all that emotion builds up to the moment you finally just explode. And when you explode, you're not speaking with logic anymore - It's pure emotion. And that's okay but what any genuine friend or family member will say is - Why did you wait so long to tell me this? I would've gladly done things differently or treated you differently and tried to help if you just... Told me.
Lack of communication minimizes the true connection possible in friendships and family. And especially in relationships.
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What I've noticed is - The more people are on their phones, the less they interact with the phones themselves. So this leads to people not responding to texts - Even though they see them right away. And the more people are on phones, the less they are comfortable with in person interaction. Their heads are busier. They're spending time with people but they're not actually there because they're thinking of all the things they need to do, the emails they forgot to respond to, the texts they ignored, etc.
And when you're not genuinely there for someone in an in-person conversation, they can see it. They can feel it. I promise.
And when this happens, people stop opening up as much to you. Conversations become much more topical. Less depth. Less emotion. Less true connection.
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We KNOW this. So I implore you to please do your part is being there for your friends and family. Leave your phone at home when you go out to dinner or at least leave it in your car before you go inside. Truly listen.
When you're upset or angry with someone, that's okay. But please communicate that and give them the information possible to make a change. You might shake while you're telling them. You might feel it's confrontational. But if you tell them before you've stewed in the emotions for weeks before - You'll probably be able to articulate it with compassion. And by doing it, that person will probably truly appreciate you and your honesty (And if they don't, please find more genuine friendships). And with that information, you at least give them the opportunity to be a better friend - A better family member - A better lover or partner to you. And if they choose not to change with the information given, that's okay too - Because you at least know where you stand and can make your own decision from there.
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Please. Put your phones down more. Leave them at home when you go on walks or hikes. Leave them in your car every dinner conversation you can. And just watch the quality of relationships that start to build around you.
There's still time. I promise.
I've always broken a lot of rules.
I think it’s important to question rules. Always.
But one of the most important rules I’ve broken - Is what people said is possible. I’ve always questioned it. To the point, that I actually ended up proving myself and making my dreams come true in the process.
I challenge you to walk around with no phone for one day.
See the world around you.
Almost every single person around you will be staring at a phone or computer. Everyone has their head down.
If your head is up and you’re paying attention, you will walk through situations where you’re the only one that even sees whats happening.
It’s like you have the whole world to yourself.
The airBNB project and one of the most important memories that came from it.
I didn’t even know where I was going 5 days before leaving. I didn’t even have a place to stay 48 hours before.
I didn’t know anything about Jamaica and just booked a flight to Montego Bay as a branch off point. I made a post on Reddit, asking people about relationships or recommendations there to visit… And got a bunch of wonderful replies. One of these, led me into a town in the mountains, having a day I will never forget, with a place that tourists never go. It was like I was the Pope visiting this small town.
I found a place on airBNB and reached out to them, and asked if they would like to trade for photographs. One of these is to be able to leave the locals with a place that attract more visitors, so they can make more money and live an easier life. But, the main reason is that, when I do a trade, I have to interact with the owner of the listing. I don’t just check-in, close my doors and connect to Wi-Fi. We have a long conversation when I arrive, and we almost always hit it off and become friends right away. Then, I see them everyday and many of them introduce me to family, or invite me to their homes for dinner. Or tell me special places to go, that only the locals know about. Or friends to visit in beautiful place. It always makes it a much richer experience.
Now, it’s like I’m staying at a friends house, rather than in a distant country where I don’t know anyone.
My first place in Jamaica was owned by a guy named Winston, that I know absolutely nothing about. When I arrived, he quickly greeted me and apologized - He would have to show me to my place quickly because he was in a meeting. I figured this experience my not be too special.
But the next day, he introduced me to his niece and her husband, and they asked me if I needed anything. I told them what I was doing there and they quickly offered to connect me with the tourism board. I said yes, please and I thanked them for the stay. Jennifer (the niece) told me a little about Winston and his story, which was absolutely awe-inspiring.
Jennifer took me to pick up my rental car, waited to make sure everything was okay, then drove in front of me as I learned how to drive in Jamaica (on the opposite of the road and opposite side of the car!). This helped a tremendous amount.
The next day, Jennifer told me Winston would like to have me up to his home for lunch in the mountains. I said I would love to go, and we all went up to an absolutely gorgeous home in one of the highest spots in Montego Bay, looking down over the entire city. Winston showed me around his property, where he had lived since the 60’s with his wife, even during some very tense moments in Jamaica. As we walked through his property, he showed me a different fruit tree every 5-6 feet and told me about the history and what they use it for. He told me stories about famous parties they’ve hosted there. He told me proudly about a wedding they had just had.
After the walk, he asked his wife to prepare a lunch for us all. I watched as she instinctually just walked through her property, where every tree and plant is burned into her memory, and brought back fruit and vegetables to cook. Winston went and got us rum to drink. We all sat and the conversation started flowing.
When he was younger, Winston a sailer. He would help other captains charter their boats and one day, he came back into Montego Bay and heard music playing at the Yacht Club. Him and the captain decided to go check it out and saw there was ska music playing, and lots of people dancing. Winston walked in, saw a beautiful girl he wanted to dance with and asked her partner if he could butt in. Begrudgingly, he let him and Winston danced so long with her that the partner eventually came up and said ‘If you’re going to keep dancing with her, you have to pay me back for her admission fee.’
He didn’t hesitate. He pulled the money out and gave it to the guy. This year, they will have been married for 45 years.
As a couple, they both have literally and figuratively fought vigilantly to keep Jamaica as great as it is. In the 70’s, under threat of communism, many Jamaicans fled the country out of fear. Winston recalls going to work on a Friday with some of his best friends and, on Monday, none of them showed up. They had all fled and didn’t say a word. Some of them he didn’t hear back from for years, since they were scared to tell anyone were they were.
Because he was involved in politics, many people advised Winston and his wife to flee the country also. He was getting death threats and they had to move him back and forth between his home and the mountains, to keep them both alive. He recalls having the paperwork for his Canadian visa sitting in front of him, where all he had to do was sign the papers, and he tore them up instead.
He said ‘If I die, I will go down with the Jamaican flag on my back.’
They never left and never will, he strongly says as we walk around his property, overlooking the city he helped build.
Since then, he has remained heavily involved into politics and make sure they stay a democracy. When drugs became a threat in the 90’s, he quickly had the government install checkpoints at each Parish, to stop the flow of trafficking before it got to the coast. He said ‘We will never become another Mexico.’ To this day, the checkpoints still exist.
Now in his 80’s, Winston is making sure Jamaica will be left in good hands when he is gone. He is helping build parks instead of businesses, in places where commercial endeavors would make a lot of money. In his legacy, this country will never forget the impact he has made.
Sometimes, you have to step away from what you think is the real world - To realize it's not at all.
We have life too good. We’re too comfortable. In that boredom and comfort, we create drama. We hurt the ones that love us. And we love the ones that hurt us.
People fill up their brains with the news everyday, from the moment they wake up. An incredible biased media that makes money off of perpetuating negativity and creating fear.
We smoke cigarettes to make the suffering go quicker. We drink alcohol to numb the pain, and to dull our beautiful minds overflowing with unique thoughts.
People can never be single, and allow themselves the time to work through what it takes to find out who they truly are. What they truly deserve. To find love for themselves, in their hearts, that no one else can ever take from them. Because they can’t stand even the smallest bit of emotional discomfort. As soon as it’s felt, we pull out our phones and distract ourselves, never growing through these important moments.
They dump their fears on their children, and anyone else around them. They tell their children to be afraid of the world, of strangers, of getting hurt… Because they themselves are. Because they never left their comfort zone. So they don’t give them the ability to be an individual.
People don’t say what they mean. And they don’t mean what they say. They’re afraid of expressing love when they feel it - For the fear that it might not be reciprocated. Which is not love at all.
We try to live with as little risk as possible, even if we lose all fulfillment in the process. People are so afraid of so many things - Many of which will not even hurt us, and allow us to grow strength and confidence.
You get offended by things you really just disagree with. You talk over people who are trying to teach you something. You are so quick to tell people what you know and so slow to listen to what they have to show you.
Guys are sending dick pictures, and thinking much more with their dick than with their brains. And girls take their gorgeous, natural beauty and spend hours covering it with makeup before they show themselves to the world. But then they tell others that they’re beautiful, just like they are.
Both sides are accepting much less than what they are worth. What they deserve.
You think money will actually bring joy. You think theres more value in having rather than in giving.
Please, for all of us, wake up. The world needs you.
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It's a very thin line.
You need to understand that very thin line between pride/ego and confidence.
The difference is only one thing - intention behind why you do what you do.
Why I always remember how to live when I travel spontaneously:
It is hard for me to explain but I guess here is my best. The world is my home. We understand each other. It’s where I feel safe, emotionally and physically, and most alive.
Being home is difficult for me because relationships and people confuse me in America. There is a lot of strange things - Passive aggression, miscommunication, people not asking for what they want/need, resentment without communicating it, fears that people won’t try to understand but let it guide their every moment.
I feel so comfortable in the world - Spontaneously floating through each new situation. I adapt so quickly because I am fully aware, fully awake. I don’t have the endless comfort that numbs my intelligence. The comfort that gives me too much freedom to be in my thoughts, not in the world. When I am in the world, I am just reacting, just observing, just living. When I am home, I am playing a chess game with people who don’t even know why they’re playing it. I am surrounded by people not living the life that they should be, even though they know what they should be doing. I am surrounded by distraction, by complaining, by victims to circumstances out of their control or things that happened in their past that they will not work through. I am surrounded by people that think that money will solve their problems or give them the happiness they cannot otherwise find on their own. I am surrounded by people that think being busy means you are being productive, or doing the right thing in that manner. People that don’t have the attention span to listen to poetry, to read long letters, to create unique art, to share long conversations, to truly be there for people.
It’s strange to me - I feel so much more at home in situations that probably look to others to be so complex. To be dangerous. But, in those situations, I have found the true honesty and genuine nature of all humans. When comfort is stripped away, people must be intentional and straight forward with their words and their actions. And when people are straight forward with what they mean, you at least know where you stand and how to react.
Then people judge you on who you truly are, not just who they think you are.
A desperate plea for the entire world.
I am here begging you, hat in hands, to go out and travel by any means necessary. You don’t have to travel around the world to find what you’re looking for. It can be just a short trip down a road in your town you’ve never been down. Go to the grocery market, get to know the cashiers, ask about their stories. Travel and experience new things, new conversations, by any way possible. For it is there, and only there, where true joy lies.
And when you travel to new places, always live like the locals do. Live simply, eat what and where they eat, and talk to them. Get to know them and hear their stories, and how incredibly different they are than yours. Many times, their stories will be much more difficult or uncomfortable than yours. The events and things they have gone through to survive or provide is likely going to be 100x more difficult than yours, comparatively. But you’ll notice something as you’re listening to these stories - They’re not complaining. They’re not victims to the things that happened to them… They just adjusted based on their environment and created something out of it. I travel to third world countries so often because it’s every day you meet someone that is not just a security guard but also a contractor when there’s work, a bartender if theres hours available, a truck driver if theres the miles… On top of also being a good father, a provider for their family, a good husband and son that helps their mom when they’re able to. Again, you will hear this coming from locals and that don’t think anything of it… That’s just what you do. You won’t hear them complain.
In these conversations, you’ll quickly notice things you can do to help them also. If they make a comment that buying food has been difficult, but they’ll be okay, go and buy them groceries. They will never forget about the kindness you showed them, in such a genuine act that costs you NOTHING. It might have cost you $20 and can provide for their entire family for multiple days.
You’ll see the gratitude overflowing and from there, you will really start to understand life. And money. When you hoard money, or base decisions on how much money we will make, rather than following fulfillment… We know we are lying to ourselves. If you don’t believe me, read the memoirs of hundreds of peoples last words in their dying days. Count how many times they say ‘I wish I hadn’t chased a life of money. I lost so many special moments along the way.’
I went to a market here the other day and saw a lady that had to put food back because she didn’t have enough money. Flour, eggs, essentials. I quickly said to the cashier ‘I will pay for that’, which was a little over $3, and she stopped… Looked at me with disbelief, and walked the whole line of people to me to shake my hand with both hands and thank me deeply, while looking into my eyes. She said thank you another 10 times before she left. For $3. I will never forget that moment.
When you see the gratitude and understand the true value of money (how you can use it to help the world around you and leave places better than you found it), you begin to understand how simple joy is for yourself. There is no joy in being selfish. Maybe it provides a momentary feeling of gratification but we all know that will never provide sustainable happiness. We know that. Beyond any question. Yet we forget it many times.
Now, after you take a trip like this, you go home to your comfortable, wonderful life and you’ll notice you start appreciating things. Appreciating people. Appreciating the small routines and wealth that you have. You’ll also take notice on the things that only provided momentary feelings of gratification (addictions, technology, etc) and you’ll feel how you felt when you indulge in those again. You won’t like it. You’ll feel more empty because of it, after the moment of distraction passes, and you’ll quickly remember that you had felt true joy. When you have this realization, you’ll get rid of the things that only provided momentary feelings of gratification. You’ll step back from the relationships in your life that have been giving you the same - But weren’t helping you be the best you can possibly be.
For, if we’re not the best versions of ourselves (which is all relative), then we cannot help the world around us as much. Make no mistake in that.
Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
Notes at the end of life, of a great professor and human:
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“The culture we have today doesn’t make people feel very good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough that, if the culture doesn’t work for you, don’t buy it.”
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“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even they they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
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“He tells me to be ‘fully human’ He speaks of the alienation of youth and the need for ‘connectedness’ with the society around me.”
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“Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.”
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“Mitch, the culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - We’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and saying ‘Is this all?’ ‘Is this all I want?’ ‘Is something missing?’ - You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won’t just happen automatically.’
Psychology.
Do not pursue what is quick. Do not pursue what is expedient. Do not pursue short term pleasures.
It will take away your gratification. It will take away your joy. I promise.
Take one tiny step forward each and every day.
Sometimes, you're in the darkness and you don't ever think you'll find the way out.
But, if you just keep putting one foot forward, each and every day... The light you're looking for might be just around the corner. And you could have never imagined the wonderful life that awaits you there.
But only you can take that step forward.
I need you to be secure, and be confident. For there are few things sadder, that I have seen, than people who were emotionally or physically abused.
This might be a little uncomfortable but it must be said.
I have had the fortune of being able to meet people everywhere, all over the world, and hear gorgeous stories of deep emotion. People open up to me and tell me their heart.
There is one constant that breaks my heart more than anything. And it is the extremely high rate of times when I meet people (as adults) who were abused earlier in life. Some of them physically - most of them emotionally - but make no mistake, they are both every bit as destructive.
If you abuse people, physically or emotionally, you are destroying the good in this world. You are destroying people’s beliefs in humanity and the love around them. You are destroying what is actual and forcing a belief in the victim that the world is a bad place and people do not have their best intentions in mind.
Maybe you did this when you were young. Maybe you did this in a relationship. Maybe you did this at a certain point of weakness. We all make mistakes - I am far from perfect and have surely said things I wish I could have taken back when the emotion subsided.
But do not let that pride keep you from apologizing.
Do not let that pride hold you back from telling that person that you were wrong.
Please do not let that pride keep you from telling that person that it wasn’t about them, for why you hurt them.
They might still hold it against you. They might not forgive you. But, through that apology, they just might start to slowly forgive themselves. To see that it wasn’t their fault. And to slowly start giving themselves a chance at happiness or joy again. As slowly starting to trust people again.
If you abuse, make no mistake: You are destroying that person for life, in a way that is rarely overcome. That destruction leads to many people hurting themselves. Treating themselves poorly. And believing that that is what they deserve. That destroys the very fabric of our society. The heartbeat of a population with a desire to love others, and trust freely. When people lose that, they do terrible things to themselves and others, perpetually. It effects the relationships they get into. It effects how they raise their children. I can’t tell you how many times I have met a mom who told me she was abused and then meeting the daughter and seeing the daughter following the exact same footsteps. You are destroying people’s ability to even see whats normal.
So, if you’re reading this, again, it’s okay to be insecure. But please take the time individually, to fight your own demons on your own, before ever taking them out on anyone else. It’s okay to be insecure, but it’s not okay to let that insecurity create fear and abuse in the people around you. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to anyone.
And it destroys the world, one person at a time.
A healthy heart is a heart full of love, always.
Why not make life easier and learn?
We are at the most fortunate time we have ever been in, in understanding the complexities of life. We are in the information age, where we have limitless information available to us, almost all of it which is free. Yet, we overload it with junk. With things that don’t serve us or help us in any way. They just clutter and fill our brain with chaos, which makes the thoughts that are actually important more convoluted and cloudy.
Learn from the great psychologists and sociologists. Learn from the people that have dedicated their lives to literally understanding HOW the brain works, How our bodies work. Read it all the time. Understand as well as possible. Discard the things that you don’t need to remember and learn more deeply the things that are universally important to your life.
These things are essential. We are not different - We are all pretty much the same. Remember this.
Fill your brain with information that helps you as much as humanely possible. Read books. Watch TED talks. Watch lectures. Have conversations with people and listen more than you talk.
Make no mistake - Knowledge truly is power. And will single handedly be your greatest attribute to living a fulfilled life. Knowledge will help you differentiate emotional reactions to situations (and emotions rarely involve raw logic) and remember the big picture.
Today, I was reading ‘12 Rules For Life’ and found this extremely fascinating:
The ancient part of your brain specialized for assessing dominance watches how you are treated by other people. On that evidence, it renders a determination of your value and assigns you a status. If you are judged by your peers as of little worth, the counter restricts serotonin availability. That makes you much more physically and psychologically reactive to any circumstance or event that might produce emotion, particularly if it is negative. Emergencies are common at the bottom, and you must be ready to survive.
When operating at the bottom, the ancient brain counter assumes that even the smallest unexpected impediment might produce and uncontrollable chain of negative events, which will have to be handled alone, as useful friends are rare indeed. You will therefore continually sacrifice what you could otherwise physically store for the future, using it up on heightened readiness and the possibility of immediate panicked action in the present.
The ancient counter will eventually even shut down your immune system, expending your energy and resources required for future health now, during the crises of the present. It will render you impulsive, so that you will jump, for example at any short-term mating opportunities, or any possibilities of pleasure, no matter how sub-par, disgraceful or illegal.
If you have a high status, on the other hand, the counter’s cold, pre-reptilian mechanics assume that your niche is secure, productive and safe, and that you are well buttressed with social support. It think the chance that something will damage you is low and can be safely discounted. The serotonin flows plentifully. Change might be opportunity, instead of disaster. This renders you confident and calm, standing tall and straight, and much less on constant alert. Because your position is secure, the future is likely to be good for you. You can delay gratification, without forgoing it forever.