I just walked into my home after 28 days in Europe, on the road. And dear God did I get the life sucked out of me the moment that door closed behind me.

A million memories came right back to me. Of sitting here before, so scared, when I couldn’t even move before. When I was paralyzed by fear, by indecision, by procrastination.

Now, I come home like a warrior coming back from battle. But, for now at least, it feels like all of it was just a dream. There’s no way all those memories happened. Maybe I just fell asleep and woke up just a few minutes ago, imagining all these moments before.

But, for now, I wake up, on my first morning after being home from Europe, and I feel this bliss. The bliss of the first morning being home. My warm bed. My cats. Silent mornings. Peace. Nowhere to be. Home.

I feel all these beautiful, blissful feelings and it shows me something very important that I learned over this last month. What depression is to me and how to avoid it. Depression is too much routine. Too much of letting my brain fall asleep in monotony. Lack of social experiences and being around people for too long. Lack of creativity and lack of inspiration.

Just sitting and waiting for something to happen is the worst place I can be in.

I can’t be here too long - By myself at least, and I know that - But I can truly cherish and enjoy this rest as long as its been deserved. But discipline will be crucial.