This is the time of the year when I hit the reset button. The time when I just get in my car with as little as possible and just go - In search of nothing and everything at the same time. No direction or destination in mind, just trusting I will end up right where I need to be.
I've always loved the road because it is the place that’s feels the most like home. A place where I can free my emotions and think. Create. Dream. Write. Grow. But, to do this, I have to leave all of my comforts and routines behind and surrender completely to the spontaneity of the world. For the road will always surprise you, if you're truly paying attention.
And you can never drive down the same road twice. You’re different every time you do, if you’re growing like you should be.
The road to me is home because it is where I first found myself. It was my sanctuary in the midst of chaos. In my early 20's, I was graduating college and going through a breakup and felt completely lost and broken. I didn't know what to do so I just ran.
No money.
No job.
No direction.
No phone.
No laptop.
Nowhere to sleep.
Nowhere to go.
Just running so I could think and figure out what the hell just happened.
I was more vulnerable than I had ever been. I had left a safe home to throw myself into the mercy of the world. I pushed off from the island I was on in search of one with more water and food.
I was absolutely terrified. I cried. I dreamt. I searched. I didn’t even know what for. But I felt somewhere inside of me that there was something I would find out there. Something I knew my heart was desperately needing.
And, it was on that journey that I got to know myself at a deeper level than ever before, that allowed me to have the life I have today.
This is the trip where I found my love for strangers. For, when I had absolutely nothing, the world humbled me and taught me that, if I needed help, I was going to have to learn to ask for it.
I resisted. I held on to my pride. But finally, I needed it so I asked. And, when I did, the world gave me everything. And I needed it more often than I’d like myself to admit.
(This is why all I want to do now is give back to the world that gave me everything first.)
I was shown, in every moment I asked, that people are there to share in your life, If you just first ask. And the thing I needed more than anything else was connection. I didn't mind sleeping in the dirt or in a grocery store parking lot - But I didn't like feeling like I was all alone out there.
Every bit as importantly, I was shown how little I truly needed to be happy. That all those comforts we always give ourselves just slow down our growth. The growth we need to always be undergoing if we’re going to make the most out of this one opportunity in life.
That we simply must develop our fortitude. Our foundation. Our clarity. So we can dream without fear.
These are the journeys that stoke the fire and illuminates the path so we can see the way forward. For, it’s out there, somewhere, and the journey there is always far better than the destination.
I remember writing, as my life started to get more comfortable after this trip:
“When I had $10 to my name and I made $10, it meant everything to me.
When I had $100 to my name and made $100, it meant everything to me.
But, when I had $1,000 and I made $1,000, it meant nothing to me.”
Be open. Try your best. Give back to the world as much as you possibly can. Not with your money but with your heart. Your hands. Your heart. Your mind. Because you need it, every bit as much as they do. And what you give today, you will always get back tomorrow... and the journey can be just a little smoother as you go.
A year from now, you'll wish you started today.
Stay searching. I’ll see you out there.
