10 years ago, I was homeless.

10 years ago, I was homeless. Living out of the backseat of my car, eating ramen noodles on the side of the road. No money. No job. No camera.

And it was some of the best years of my entire life.

Let me explain.

Growing up in the Midwest, I had this burning in my soul that I just had to figure out. I was dreaming of the West Coast but never really had money so, as soon as I saved up a few hundred dollars, I figured that was enough to head West. I had no real plan other than trying to make it to Los Angeles and finding a job there. When I was in Fort Collins, Colorado, I only had $300 left and I told my friend there that I was going to head back to St. Louis to save up more money. He told me 'Adam, if you go home, you already know what life will be like. But, if you head West, that is the point of no return - You won't have enough money to even make it back home. And that's where all of your life will be.'

He was right. I headed West and quickly ran out of money because of gas. I remember being in Reno, Nevada with only $32 to my name and no fall back plan. No job or way to make money.

This time in my life made everything else so simple. And taught me some of the greatest lessons I could ever ask for.

1. How little money I truly need to be content and happy. At this time, I would allow myself to spend only $5/day on everything - Gas, food, water, etc. Out of that $5, I would let myself spend $1 on an indulgence - to just have something to look forward to. I would usually get a $1 can of Dr. Pepper and, to this day, I have never found anything that tasted as good as that can of soda did. When you can find real joy in things so basic, it makes everything simple from there. Money became a tool - Nothing less, nothing more.

2. During this time, I simply HAD to ask for help from the world around me. And I can honestly say - Everyone helped, every single time. No matter where I was. It deeply ingrained in me this very real understanding that the world was full of wonderful people, happy to help if you just ask. Because of this lesson, all I have wanted to do since was give as much back to the world. Because, when I had nothing, the world gave me everything. It has completely shifted the way I talk to other travelers, homeless and the vulnerable.

I got a job on a farm and saved up $300, enough to let me make it to LA. When I got to LA, I only had $27 to my name and started from there. My sister made me a chicken quesadilla and it was the first meat I had eaten in over a month. I applied at jobs every single day until I finally got a restaurant job and saved up enough money to get my own apartment.

I'll never forget that first night, I laid on the floor for hours, just staring at the ceiling and running my hands over the carpet. I had no furniture and no bed but it didn't matter, I felt like a king because I finally had a roof over my head again.

I have never looked back once since.

I built the life I have today on the firm foundation of these very basic lessons. Success has been easy from there. Making money has been very simple from there. It's helped me notice the people that truly need help, and to be able to ask for it when I do also. It gave me the self awareness that I operate with today, allowing me to truly be myself with the relationships in my life. It taught me intuition, communication and perspective.

When you combine:

1. Knowing how little you need to be happy + money being a tool.

2. The world is there to help, if you just ask when you need it. And that there is magic in giving as much as you can.

3. Knowing that you are capable of far more than you could ever imagine. And if you just take that scary step into the void, you will see that it was all just a mirage.

Life gets pretty simple from there. Gratitude is a beautiful thing.

How to build the deepest relationships possible?

I will teach you one of the simplest ways to deepen and protect the relationships in your life.

Do not ever, under any circumstances, flake on the day of a commitment you made.

Ever.

Barring an actual emergency or act of God, do not ever do it. Not even once.

Woke up feeling tired? Still arrive at the time you said you would.

Hungover? Still show up at the time you said you would.

Nervous? Scared? Still show up at the time you said you would.

Something better came up? Oh well, still be there at the right time.

If you absolutely need to re-schedule, call that person. Talk to them. Do not just send a text message.

There is a new epidemic of people being so hard to be dependable on commitments they have made and it's destroying relationships. Flaking is what kids do, when they don't yet know the ramifications of acting like that.

You're not a kid. You're an adult.

It is absolutely critical that your friends know that they can depend on you. That you will do what you said you would do... And there can never be a crack in that. If your friends know they can depend on you, you will immediately become one of the closest relationships in their lives and the roots will continue to deepen.

How do you avoid over-committing?

Boundaries are sexy.

Be truthful with yourself and the other person.

If you need to reschedule, do it with plenty of time... Do not do it last minute. And again, do it by calling that person.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

We all want the relationships in our lives that we can really trust. Be that person for yourself and for others and you will always attract the same level of maturity and strength in those that are around you.

Do you know why I love to spend time with the homeless when I travel?

Do you know why the homeless are always my favorite people to spend time with when I travel?

They have struggled so they have real stories to tell... Many which are some of the most inspiring and valiant ones from each city I visit.

They’re incredibly self aware and intuitive.

They give more to strangers than most rich people I know.

You can see the wars they have fought on their faces - In the deep wrinkles and scars that riddle them - And they will tell you about them if you genuinely ask.

They’re not just sitting there staring at their phones. They’re moving. They’re talking. They're paying attention.

They have realistic expectations on what it takes to find true happiness.

They’re on a LOT less drugs than most people I see with TikTok addictions and large social media followings.

In our conversations they’re present. They have nowhere else to be. So, the conversations are balanced - They always ask me how I am doing and genuinely mean it when they do.

They remind you how to be human. They remind you on the most important parts of life, almost all of which we take for granted every single day.

In my opinion, they are some of the purest forms of humanity that you will find in this country. Good luck finding people more vulnerable. More authentic. More real. And they don’t hide it from you or lie about it. There’s no passive aggression. There’s no time for that.

They will give you the last bottle of water they have on them if you ask for it (If you don’t believe that, go out and see for yourself. I guarantee it.) because they really know what it is like to struggle and they don’t want others to go through that same pain.

They are the ones that teach me how to genuinely be happy. How to be grateful. How to be content.

They remind me how to be human.

You know who I am inspired by?

You know who I am inspired by?

It’s not the celebrities that stand in the spotlight, yet do not notice the ones in the shadows. It’s not the wealthy, who seem to have it all but don’t notice that the most valuable things they have didn’t cost a single thing. It’s not the ones with huge social media followings but lack the courage to tell the world who they really are.

I’m most inspired by the ones at the gym at 6:30 in the morning, not telling a single person that they we’re going. By the lady in yoga, in her 80’s, refusing to let her age tell her to slow down. The man or woman that had their heart broken but chooses to love vulnerably again. The ones that stop for a conversation, even if their schedule has no flexibility at all. By the ones that do incredible things but don’t photograph it and don’t post about it on social media. In fact, the most interesting ones I’ve met never tell a single soul… They don’t need to. Im inspired by the ones that let their hearts burn for those around them, regardless of how much they get back in return. By those who love without expectation. The ones that give more than they have. The ones that listen more than they talk.

Those are the ones that get it. And the contentment that their actions bring foster enough fulfillment to never need the validation of others. For they know full well that when you give, you always get more in return than you could have ever expected.

For those that are out there, I see you. Thank you for the inspiration.

Finally ready to love for the right reasons.

The beautiful thing about finally being in a spot where I’m ready for love is:

I have searched the whole world for a way to find myself. I’ve found what I love, what gives me purpose, what inspires me and, most importantly of all, I found myself.

So that I can love with a true heart, without fear, for the right reasons.

But to do that, I had to first feel like I deserved that. And when you come from a low place in your life, it is a lot of self-work to get to a place where you feel that.

But when you do, it’s the most beautiful thing of all and allows you to be calm, honest and strong in the face of love.

Why am I so optimistic?

I have a lot of people that think I am so optimistic/positive because I have traveled the world and found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That, somewhere out there, I have found the meaning of my life and how to make sense of something that makes no sense at all.

But that's not true. I actually have no clue what I'm doing and never have. And I certainly haven't actually found anything at all that I didn't have within me the whole time.

Let me explain.

It took me half of my lifetime, of chasing dreams and purpose anywhere around the world that I could possibly find it. It took me asking ten thousand questions to ten thousand people to find what I know today.

And here it is. Here's the reason I am so optimistic.

I have found that truly nothing does make sense.

No one has a single clue what they're doing and everyone is trying to find peace with the uncertainty. A lot of that will be found in people having their own family, which immediately makes life make sense because it's not about them anymore. More so over the last couple years, people are more vulnerable than ever and these fears can create insecurity - So give them forgiveness for that.

Because nothing does make sense and no one truly does know what they're doing - It allowed me to throw away the rule book and write my own.

Here's what's in my rule book so far:

First, give yourself the time to truly find out who you are. By yourself. On your own. Have fun with it. Work through the stuff hidden underneath - We ALL have it - And if you don't give yourself the time to work through what's underneath, it will 100% negatively affect you until the day you die. But, when you turn and face it, you find out you are much stronger than you thought... And, even better, you will also find that almost all of those fears were just a mirage. If not all of them. (Write as much as you can during all of this)

Once you know yourself, you can be genuine. Be fiercely authentic. Be fearlessly yourself. No one is judging you for being yourself - In fact, it inspires them to be more like the person they want to be. How do you judge someone that is genuine? To do so would only be an insecurity and that makes it very easy to deal with.

As a part of being genuine, GIVE with no expectations of any return. Tell your friends you love them every time you talk. Call your parents for long conversations, even if you have no clue what to talk about. Tell that girl or guy how you really feel about them and put your heart on the line - Life is stupidly short for anything else - And let go of the rest (Yes, this can be easier said than done at times).

Be clear and intentional with your words.

Show affection. Give affection.

Tell people who are close to you what you're thinking and truly listen to them when they do the same. Learn together. Grow together. Be together.

Then, just get out there and just live. Take care of your body and mind as much as you physically can - You need ALL of it to be in as good of shape as possible. Explore. Be curious as hell. Take a hike with your notepad and don't tell a single person. Take lots of chances and fail at all of them... Until you don't anymore. Be good to one another - Even if it's not returned to you. (And, as a part of this, do not tolerate anyone in your life who disrespects you or your heart).

Tell your friends when you need them to listen. And listen to them when they do the same.

Shut off the distractions. Get off the drugs.

Life is more beautiful than I can put into words because of all these things mentioned above and all you have to do is see it for yourself.

I'm sorry to say it but there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But, when you live like this, you realized you were already there the whole time - You were born in the pot of gold and all you have to do is notice whats already around you to see that.

Pour your heart into the world. We all need it. I promise you one thing more than anything else - You will ALWAYS get it back and so much more in return.

Give us that heart.

Love you all.

Fear.

You might have fear. Fear of dying. Fear of rejection. Fear of fear itself. Fear is a valid tool, as a part of our evolution, to ensure we still moved forward as a species. 

But, if you truly live, fear of dying cannot exist. For if that fear did not exist, if death was not a possibility, then truly living in spite of that would not be worth it. 

The more comfortable I get, the more I fall asleep.

What I am really trying to show here is - The more comfortable my life gets, the more I fall apart because, like most people - If I am not doing what gives me purpose, if I am sitting in a dim comfortable room outside of the sunlight, I go to sleep.

Emotionally, mentally, creatively. When that happens, I get more and more depressed until I hit a wall and say fuck it. I get the fuck out and start to move and become alive again.

That’s why I said: ‘As long as I never sit still, I can never die.’

Soft, golden mornings.

I wake up in the morning to soft, golden light pouring through my window. No alarm. No noise. No rush. The light wakes me up the same way a gentle touch would by someone I loved. It’s kind. It tells me, without saying a word, that today will be good. I move slowly, as theres no time that even matters. Theres not one person in the world that could find me and that blankets me with a sense of calm that is indescribable. So much of what I am trying to do now has to have that sense of peace because the inspiration I am looking for everyday. Can only be found by not looking for it. Only by being in that one pure, singular moment where a clear thought might gently brush across your cheek. For just one quick moment. If I am distracted, I will never notice it. And, if my mind is busy, then ill swat it away when I feels it’s gentle touch. Only by sitting there without a single place to be will that thought join me.

So that’s what im doing. Just doing nothing. At this pone, perfect moment in my strange and beautiful life. The greatest gift I can give to myself and to the world is to create from this stillness and theres no bottom to that process there. After stepping away from social media and technology, I find there is unlimited color that has been hiding just below the surface. For years, when that color would start to break the surface and show its beauty, I would pull out a phone and immerse myself in the black and white world of distraction. By doing that, I lost my heart, I got depressed and I lost all sense of purpose. By letting that color back in, I was given the gift of being myself again. With all of the beautiful imperfections and magic my heart holds inside of it. I don’t have to think about how to share my love with the world - I just burn, with every person I am lucky enough to meet. And they burn with me, every single time. 

The world is not looking for anyone making another instagram post or taking another selfie. They are desperately looking for someone to just talk with. To connect with. To just be human with.

By being myself, to myself, I get to remember what I truly need to be happy. To be grateful. To share love to myself and others. To ask myself and others for what I truly need to feel I’ve lived a life fulfilled. And most of all, I can truly listen to the world for what they need the most and maybe, just maybe, I can give it to them and start a chain reaction of compassion. So we. Can all do our part in alleviating the weight of the world together.

Big Sur.

Big Sur.

These places where I used to illegally sleep in their parking lots. Where I used to wait until dark and then hike through a river to an island to pitch a tent and sleep. When I was living on only $5. A day. $1 a day on indulgence. I was homeless and had nowhere else to go.

These places now give me their best possible cabins to sleep in for free. They pay for all the food, food that I would never have been able to afford just a short time ago. 

All so I will just come and photograph what I see.

Only whatever I feel inspired to. They don’t tell me anything.

They just give me everything I need to be able to create.

And it’s quite a strange feeling.

My first morning being home after this last trip.

The reason you travel? To be a better human. And there are so many ways to do that but let me give you one that struck me this morning, on my first morning being home.

I wake up in my warm bed, with nowhere to be. In silence. In a place I am allowed to be as long as I would like to. I get up and make my own coffee. I pet my cats. It feels like a drug - This rest having been earned. I walk across the street to the grocery store and I buy stuff for breakfast and half and half. I go home and make another cup of coffee.

The simplest things possible. The things that make up my daily routine for a lot of the year. But because I haven’t had them in so long - I am filled with a grateful sense of enjoyment for each and every one of them. I actually stop and think about them as I do them. I walk into the grocery store - Realizing I can buy anything I want in this store to have whatever kind of day I would like to - And I feel blessed. The coffee tastes better. The couch feels more comfortable. The air smells sweeter. The shower feels hotter. Everything about this makes me feel grateful - For the simplest things that I far too often take for granted.

That’s it. That’s everything. That sums up one more component on why you travel and why you leave your comfort zone. My grandma always had a sign on her refrigerator that said ‘Happiness is not getting what you want. It’s wanting what you have.’ And I get it. I don’t need anything at all. Not one single thing more than what I have right now and I can feel it in my core and it’s that feeling right there that I wish everyone could feel just once. 

Getting home after this last trip.

I just walked into my home after 28 days in Europe, on the road. And dear God did I get the life sucked out of me the moment that door closed behind me.

A million memories came right back to me. Of sitting here before, so scared, when I couldn’t even move before. When I was paralyzed by fear, by indecision, by procrastination.

Now, I come home like a warrior coming back from battle. But, for now at least, it feels like all of it was just a dream. There’s no way all those memories happened. Maybe I just fell asleep and woke up just a few minutes ago, imagining all these moments before.

-

But, for now, I wake up, on my first morning after being home from Europe, and I feel this bliss. The bliss of the first morning being home. My warm bed. My cats. Silent mornings. Peace. Nowhere to be. Home.

I feel all these beautiful, blissful feelings and it shows me something very important that I learned over this last month. What depression is to me and how to avoid it. Depression is too much routine. Too much of letting my brain fall asleep in monotony. Lack of social experiences and being around people for too long. Lack of creativity and lack of inspiration. 

Just sitting and waiting for something to happen is the worst place I can be in. 

I can’t be here too long - By myself at least, and I know that - But I can truly cherish and enjoy this rest as long as its been deserved. But discipline will be crucial.

Here's the deal. I always thought I was going to die young.

Look, here’s the deal. I’ve always thought I was going to die young. Now, I don’t know if I thought I was going to die early because of me falling off a cliff, getting hit by a train or something crazy like that. Or something more normal like a heart attack, with my weird crazy heart. Maybe this is a reason why I don’t let these girls get close to me, or anyone for that matter, because ive always felt like that.

But regardless, its why I make sure I live 1,000 lifetimes as early as I physically can. Its why I burn down every possible dream and chase it as far into the sunset as physically possible. Its why I will not tolerate a no - How the fuck could you care about a no, in the face of death? It’s worthless. It’s a game. It just makes me go after my dreams harder, faster. 

It does certainly put a bit of an expediency to my timeline and something I feel. Again, whether this is completely false and just something I tell myself or if there’s some logic to it - I guess we’ll never know until that time truly comes. But, in the mean time, Im going 120 miles an hour in a 25 mph school zone. I’m past the gatekeeper so ridiculously fast that they don’t have the time to question what im doing. Im seeing things as often as possible, that people keep on their bucket list for far too long. I’m creating with every beat of blood that my heart can push out. Tired, scared, uncertain - I’m creating during all of it. I’ve written more in the last 6 months than I have in the last 10 years. The only thing that can possibly get me to sit still for a moment is if I smoke pot and im such a crazy son of a bitch that, knowing that, I left all of it at home for this entire month.

Im burning. Im burning. 

Whether I live until im 100 or I die when im 40, I’m doing everything I can to make sure I leave the world better for my time being here. 

I’m doing everything I can to make sure I can never die.

There are many times this project strips me to my core.

It breaks me down. Burns me to the ashes. Leaves me wondering what the hell I am doing. How I could take this any farther. When any of this will make sense.

When it does, I keep this poem written with me. A classic that, in my opinion, is the only way to truly live:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

My first experience in the world by myself. Where I first learned the beauty of humanity. In Poland.

About 12 years ago, I was fortunate enough to get an opportunity to go to Poland to teach English. It was my first real chance to experience the world on my own and I was ecstatic (and terrified) to go. 

I had absolutely no clue what to expect. I was a dumb kid at the time, more interested in partying and chasing girls than real relationships and experience. It was a small village called Zgierz, near the birthplace of Chopin, a long ways down the train tracks. I was coming from the comfortable suburbs in America and had never been to a place so simple. 

But I will never forget how much it taught me humanity. Humility. Compassion. Hospitality. 

We were from different worlds and they treated me like I was a member of their own family. The parents were so grateful that we were teaching their children English (many of them could not speak it themselves), that they would bring us roses to thank us. The kids would never let the pencils we gave them out of their sight, not leaving any possibility of not learning as much as possible as they could. I gave one of the students a frisbee and he would sit on it everyday so that he would never lose it and so that no one would ever possibly take it. 

They gave me a place to stay. Cooked every single meal (as well as afternoon cookies and tea of course!) and wiped be offended if I even offered to do the dishes as a thank you. My translator finally told me ‘We have a saying in Poland - If you have a guest in your home, it is if you have a god in your home.’

When I was leaving, the whole village brought me food to go, walked me to the train station and then insisted on paying for my train tickets.

Throughout the entire time I was there, not a single penny was exchanged.

(Oh and, when leaving, Anna asked for my address and mailed me a hand drawn portrait she had made of me).

When I put the pen to paper.

I really never know what is going to come out when I put the pen to the paper.

I don’t think about the words I’m writing. I just keep my head clear and let my thoughts melt into the ink. It helps me visualize my thinking. Pour water on the flames of ambition. Bushwhack through a jungle of creativity. Tread on top of the chaotic currents of emotion. And breathe in fully the vast depth of experience.

It’s the only way I know how to navigate a world that many times makes no sense. If I didn’t know how, I would likely drown in my own questions for far too long, thinking I had walked 1,000 miles but actually never moving forward. 

The days I will surely forget. But that is okay.

Today, I drove down the lost coast road.

I weaved in and out of grand redwood trees and above the clouds they stood below. And I thought about how I will surely forget many of these memories.

But that is okay with me.

Because these experiences are the blood that courses through my veins. They are the kindling that keeps my soul on fire. The foundation that keeps the stars in the sky above.

The days that make dreaming at night completely pointless. 

“Given enough time, the universe begins to ponder it’s own existence.”

There is no compromise allowed.

There is no compromise allowed, right now, in this one perfect moment of creation.

I have fully let go of the wheel and given the keys to my insatiable curiosity, to see what dusty roads of creativity is may lead me on. Not even I know what will be created. What will be written or photographed down those roads. Sometimes, nothing is.

But I sit in the passenger seat of my own creativity and leave my seat belt undone, carrying nothing but a pad of paper and a cheap pen. And throwing myself fully into that experience. Because, if I try to harness the words and force them onto paper, y writing will be a fraud. Written from a desire to show others what I can do rather than just stoke the fire and let myself burn in the ashes. 

No, I do not control the pen anymore. I just put it in my hands and let the ink flow with every beat of my heart. Unapologetically. Without a single person to impress but the artistic soul within.

But I surely do not control it. It’s like sand that you try to grip with your hands. The hardest you squeeze, the more of it that falls from your grasp. 

After 25 days of spontaneous travel, I know one thing for certain.

As long as I never sit still, I can never die. 

Today, I am grateful I got fired from my last job. I might never be here if I wasn't.

Today, I am reminded of my gratitude for the employees I see every day.

This was always me throughout my entire life. I was always the server. During these years, it felt like a vacuum because all of the energy I needed to dream went into my work. Building relationships with other employees at my job. And then, whatever life I could pay attention to outside of work. There was so little left for me to be able to see how to get out of that hole.

Everything changed for me when I was fired from my last job. It was an emotional day for me, with me feeling absolutely devastated as she did so. I remember walking out of that restaurant, feeling a mixture of anger, defeat and resolve. 

But I had just a little different of a perspective after this time. I had been fired from so many jobs before and, when I was, I would feel like a victim, mope around and then go out and get another job doing the  same thing. Rinse and repeat. 8 years of my life disappeared doing this, as I was addicted to the comfort and routine of what I was doing. But, seeing I had started this last job, I had started to really fall in love with photography. So, when I was let go, I walked home and wrote myself a note that said ‘No woe is me. The time is now. Make photography your life.’

Maybe it was symbolic. Maybe it was manifesting. I don’t know. I don’t really believe in a lot of that.

All I do know is I felt like I couldn’t turn back once I said this. I didn’t have enough money or comfort to fuck around so it was all in or die trying. And I truly never did look back. Since then, 5 years has passed and I can say with all honesty, I don’t know where all this money and comfort came from - But I do know it all came from my imagination. Most of this was from weddings, something I had ZERO clue how to do and was absolutely terrified, but I had thrown myself into training first and so I felt it was worth taking the risk. From that fear and understanding that I couldn’t fuck up, everything came together.

So, the next time you are fired, see it as only an opportunity. Do not see yourself as a victim in it. There can be no progress in that and the world really has no sympathy for those that do not try with everything they’ve got. We all need to be inspired by those that have overcome challenges to prove that it is possible. In seeing just one person do this, it can inspire hundreds of others to do the same.